The Four Verbs: Isaiah 55:6-9
Seek, call, forsake and return - these early verbs which formed my Christian vocabulary during my spiritual infancy years - have stayed with me in my 42 years of journeying with Christ. They continue to mark the fact that I am always dependent on my Saviour and Father. I can never wean off this dependence. Nor should I ever try.
Though I know Him, I still seek Him daily. For wisdom in ever changing situations. For truth, as my heart is often deceptive and leads me in wrong directions.
Though I know by faith that He is near me, I still call out to Him. For at times, it feels as if He is far away. Even at times when I know He is near; when only a whisper will do; I still cry out. It may be fear or panic. I am only human. And yes, He is divine. I know He can never be deafened. And He will understand. He will not think me a coward.
At my baptism and many other altar calls, I have laid down my rights. For countless times, I have sung “I surrender all.” And yet it seems like I still cling on to some things, behavior patterns, irrational fears and so on. I may have forsaken but still need to forsake again. I have let go. But still, today and tomorrow and the day after, I need to keep letting go.
I am home. I know it. I should never need to return. But as we sing in the hymn Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing:
“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love.”
And so, I return, and return and return again.
Each time, He abundantly pardons. His ways are higher than mine. He does not think the way humans do.
As a part of his Lent discipline, the Vicar has been writing meditations daily based on one of the lectionary readings of the day.
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